I don't think I told you about Week 3's wonderous revelation, did I? This week we learnt about transactional analysis. We learnt that we all have three different 'ego states': parent, adult and child. Child is who we are when we stamp our feet and say 'it's not fair!', parent is the part of us that says 'you shouldn't eat cake, you are too fat' and adult is the part of us that makes rational discisions based on facts in the present i.e. 'I want to wash the car while the weather is pleasant'. Or so LL would have us believe.
Our counsellor then made us discuss at length our childhood meals times (as I mentioned earlier). Perhaps there was a person who made us finish our plates? Perhaps we ate our way into mummy's good books? Perhaps we squabbled with our siblings for the largest portion? Or maybe, if you're like me, no one made you eat anything because you were so greedy you ate the whole damn thing and you were an only child. I didn't really like this game. Even if I did want to erupt in to a wailing ball of distraught childhood recollection, it's not exactly easy with your mum sat a seat away. All my childhood is concealing is baked beans, mash and dinosaur shaped chicken dippers. No secret trauma.
Our counsellor then went on to tell us that the things our parents used to say about food when we were young is still with us and manifests itself in our 'parent ego state'. Apparently, sentences that start with 'I should' and 'I must' are from our parent ego states. Which is complete bollocks in my humble opinion. If I say to myself 'You should go on a diet you fat fuck. I can't believe you just ate a whole packet of jaffa cakes', that is not my parents speaking. My parents have NEVER said anything of the sort to me. I can't have got that from anyone else. That is pure me inspired malice and hatred.
I mean, I could understand if she said 'Every person has three parts of their personalities and two parts are similar to that of a parent and child'. I'm sorry but I can't pin me being a heifer on my parents. I just like pizza and Ben and Jerry's.
Anyway, enough of LL mumbo jumbo. It might work for some people but it seriously doesn't work for me. I had my own epiphany on Saturday morning and no parent bashing in sight. I was sat there considering blogs (as you do) and how they are only really successful if they have a purpose, for example a blog about new technology or living in Madrid. If it's just directionless drivel about how depressing your life is, it usually doesn't work out. Then I got to thinking about times I have written directionless drivel about how depressing my life was and how I used to feel that I was in a horrible cycle of inaction. I used to really want to do something about my shitty circumstances but never did and I knew I didn't (something LL calls your 'open self') and so I had this horrible sense of knowing I was just going to be unhappy forever because I would never do anything. Then, ahhh, light shone down from the skies on to my enlightened face as I realised I was doing something now. I didn't need to be unhappy any more because I'd broken the cycle. I was on the road. It doesn't matter if I've only got my tootsies on it, I'm still on it. Stuff the eternal crappiness. It's all good.
So I put my unhappy mush in a box and buried it far in to the back of my mind. I just sat there in quiet contentment with a smile on my face.
So there we are: LL manipulates you and I am happy.
