I had a niggling feeling through most of yesterday telling me I was hungry. I couldn't work out if I was phsyically hungry or if my mind was reacting to chatting to my colleague, Paul, which was for me basically food porn. Well, not like your average porn with food involved but y'know..,
"How is your biscuit, Paul?"
"Nom, nom, nom....uh...yeah...it's good."
"Is it buttery?"
"Nom, nom...yesh."
"Is it crunchy or soft?"
"Crunchy."
"Does it have a flavour? Is it almondy?"
"Nom, nom, nom...just tastes of biscuit?"
"Does it have sugar on the top?"
"Yep"
"Is it sticky in your mouth?"
"Not really"
Paul picks up another biscuit
"How is your biscuit, Paul?"
"Nom, nom, nom....uh...yeah...it's good."
"Is it buttery?"
"Nom, nom...yep."
...you get the idea
Then later we discussed at some length his lunchtime options. I was championing the pasty but he says he doesn't like them. I secretly questioned his manliness considering every man in the world loves the pasty deliciousness of meat and potato in the soft pastry case. He decided on Subway and thoughts for warm doughy bread and wonderful bread smell entered my mind. Ah blissful Subway. Crunchy lettuce, hot peppers and mounds of sweet, sweet olives. And let us not forget the onion, staple of my Subway experience. Reggae Reggae Chicken Sub I told him but he said he preferred Steak and Cheese. Right now even steak and cheese sounds good to me. I remember liking Ginster's pepper steak slices.
Dear God, I think I must be a man. What is my obsession with anything wrapped in pastry? I remember once this lady at work told me I was always eating pies for lunch. Yes, it sounds amusing but she was being serious and the bizarre thing is I have never eaten a pie for my lunch at work. Never. I think she must have been mistaking me for the 70% of obese people who drive lorries for a living.
The ties with Mr Pastry will have to be severed next year if anything is going to become of LL. If I want it to be anything more than an expensive route to more stretch marks.
So anyway, my scales are saying Xst 12lb this morning so my body's 'Hahahaha, it's LL on Wednesday and we're going to retain water to fuck you up' instinct has kicked in. Thanks body, nice to see we're on the same side.
I think I have some kind of shopping withdrawal symptoms because this morning I went to the shop to buy a 1 litre bottle of water and was in there for a good ten minutes assessing the shapes of the bottles and their price. I then milled around just in case they were stashing different bottles somewhere else. I then ended up buying a 750cl (they were out of 1l damn them) and a 2l bottle. Why? It's just water and I can get it at home and work for free? Is it really necessary to multiples of something just because the only real options you have in a corner shop is water, magazines and black pepper?
I'm all tooled up with my water now. There is no excuse for not drinking 4l today. That's fo' shizzle.
