It's my Daddy's birthday today. It seems a bit weird that we're not going out for a meal or anything. I wanted to buy him a cake as if to say 'you can still enjoy it' but I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to buy him a cake for himself because then he'd eat it all and get fatter while we were getting thinner. Perhaps I could buy him one of those little cakes you can get. Usually on someone's birthday we would go to a all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant and Mummy and Daddy would stuff themselves with crispy duck and spare ribs while I would eat veggie soup, fried bean curd, spring rolls and bowl upon bowl of egg fried rice. God I miss egg fried rice!
I was just about to type 'what I wouldn't give for some egg fried rice...' but then I realised I could have it anytime I wanted.
I have decided this morning that I really need a new pair of jeans. I'm having to do the ones I'm wearing at the moment quite tightly to keep them up and they're all baggy around my legs. I need to fold the belt under to stop it flapping about and it's making a bump under my top.
I was talking to my boss about LL last night. We were talking about it for five minutes and I was complaining that my mum was 'cheating' and how I missed food and he said 'what's your diet then?' and I said 'Nothing, I stick to the rules. I just have my four foodpacks' and he was like 'NOTHING? Four foodpacks?!?' and I was like 'uhh...yeah?'. I have soooo told him about it before, he has such a bad memory. God knows what he was thinking when I said I missed food if he thought I was still eating. The funny thing is he was saying how tough dieting is before I told him (again) that all I was eating was foodpacks. I think foodpacks make things way easier though.
Anyway, he said he could tell I had lost weight, which was nice. One positive stroke in the bank for me. Then as I was walking to the photocopier and someone I worked with grabbed at my shirt and said 'look at that, it's so baggy!', which was said in a surprised rather than critical tone - another stroke in my strokey bank. This morning someone else I work with said my new top was a nice colour and that it looked good. Stroke-a-rama city. And what have I said stroke-wise? Well, I didn't think my top sat particularly well because my belt is making a bump, so that's a negative stroke for myself. I did notice my arms are looking a bit less fat, so I guess that's a positive stroke. I put some wedges on and then took them off again because I thought my jeans looked a bit baggy around the knee, which didn't look nice. Negative stroke again. So in the positive/negative stroke balance it looks like I get them but then piss 'em out by giving myself negative strokes.
To be fair though, I was proper self-stroking last night. For some reason I felt really good. It's stupid really for me to go 'ahhhh, look how much weight I've lost' because at the end of the day, I'm still fat! So if I felt really good and I was walking down the road thinking 'I've lost 3 1/2 inches off my hips!', someone walking in the other direction would say 'hahahaha, look at that fat munter' not 'wow, she really looks like he has lost 3 1/2 inches off her hips'.
EDIT: Someone just said my top was a nice colour - stroke!
Okay, time for a peanut bar I think. I've just drunk about a litre in an hour...blurrrgghh.
