BRILLIANT news!!! I weighed myself this morning and what did I weigh....14st 11lb! I have lost 4st - I am half way through! Of course, that was this morning and not last night at weigh-in but who cares! Four freaking stone, that's a hell of a lot. I want to jump up and down outside shouting "FOUR STONE!!!" but I'm in bed with just my nightie on at the mo and I don't think my boobs could withstand the abuse without a sports bra on.
I am also very pleased about something else. Something I should have really put on my goal list but never realised was a goal of mine. I have two pairs of scales because I am anal and became fanatical about the seemingly bizarre readings my scales would give (denial much?): one is a jazzy digital set that gives you your weight, the percentage of your body that is fat and some other figure I can't remember (since doing LL it's been going up so I assume it's good? Or it's what percentage of me is water perhaps. Maybe it's years left until I die? It is current 31, which could be possible. Clever scales.) and the other set are proper old-school bog standard scales. Both are kept on a little piece of wood on my carpetted floor (I did say I was anal).
So anyway, when I bought the digital scales I could not get the bloody body fat percentage function to work. I put in my gender and height and made sure my feet touched the metal but it kept coming up with an error message. My (fat but less fat than me at the time) boyfriend tried it and it worked. I was stumped but came up with some rubbish excuse about how my massive thighs pushing together all the way down to the knee when I stood with my feet so close together must have confused the little magic waves that measure your body fat.
I got used to seeing the error message instead of a percentage. I began to accept the fact that my 'fat thighs' theory was probably wrong and it was probably because the percentage was so high it overwhelmed the scales. I started Lighterlife. Time passed. Around the Week 6 mark when I was comfortably mid-17st one day a number appeared - 61%. Sixty-freaking-one percent! What the hell would it have been when I first bought them? Second thoughts, don't wanna know.
I was really keen to get below 50% because somehow that made things seem okay, that seemed to be the magic number. And guess what? Today I am 49%!!! Less than 50% of my body weight is fat!! I can't believe I used to weigh so much that the poor bloody scales couldn't even measure how much of me was fat. It seems verging on obscene that over two thirds of my body was lard. No wonder I have so many stretch marks. Why couldn't I see it then? Why did I think it was okay? Or did I think it was okay? I have the shortest memory ever, I can't really remember.
I'm going to add that to the list of goals I made a little while ago. I'm also going to try and add a few more because I'm sure, like that one, there are others that I'm trying to do that I haven't realise are goals.
So, group last night. It was the first week of Developers. After your first 14 weeks in Foundation, which is a closed group with the same people every week, if you still have weight to lose you remain in abstinence and move on to Developers. Developers is not a closed group but it is still same sex. You stay in Developers as long as it takes you to lose your additional weight. Last night I swear to God there were at least 30 people in the group. It was like someone had ferried half the women in Waterloo Station into class. There were people sitting on the floor for fuck's sake.
This was a massive shock to my system. It wasn't until then that I realised how much I liked my group. Now I see that the small numbers, the same faces every week, people who were friends had really helped me. It felt like we were a team. Last night though was horrible. Somehow I got separated from my mum and Team Foundation while I was being weighed and I got sandwiched between two lots of clicky, gossiping, hostile 'old timers' with their backs to me. I'm shit at these situations at the best of times (despite writing intimately to strangers) and there I just crumbled. I sat looking at my trainers and fiddling with a pen while the rest of the room buzzed with chatter. I freaking hated it. It was shit on a stick. I don't know how I'm going to get through 4st 7lb more of that.
Our counsellor kept flitting round weighing people and giving out foodpacks in her perpetually positive way and beamed as she told us she was so glad to see us all and that the group wouldn't always be this busy. I can't really see how that's true because people aren't all going to hit their target weights at the same time. People will leave in dribs and drabs, not in massive chunks. I don't think I'd feel a whole lot better if I turned up on Tuesday and there were 29 cackling old timers instead of 30.
So here's what I lost anyway. It was a good week. I think I lost so much because I only lost 2lb the week before. Carry on 5lb losses, let me get out of stinky Developers:
Week 1 18st 11lb (start weight)
Week 2 5lb (18st 6lb)
Week 3 3lb (18st 3lb)
Week 4 3lb (18st)
Week 5 3lb (17st 11lb)
Week 6 5lb (17st 6lb)
Week 7 4lb (17st 2lb)
Week 8 5lb (16st 11lb)
Week 9 3lb (16st 8lb)
Week 10 4lb (16st 4lb)
Week 11 3lb (16st 1lb)
Week 12 5lb (15st 10lb)
Week 13 4lb (15st 6lb)
Week 14 2lb (15st 4lb)
Week 15 5lb (14st 13lb)
I found a picture of myself from this time last year on Facebook and I so, so, so want to show it to you but I'm worried about blowing my cover. After dissing Developers and my mum (occasionally), I'd hate to get found out and I know my blog comes quite high up on the results if you search for lighterlife on Yahoo, so it could happen. I'm so huge though, I hardly recognise myself. Maybe once this is all done and dusted and I don't have to see my counsellor anymore and my mum is so amazed at my weight loss she won't mind reading that I wanted to denounce her as a liar and a cheat.
I have written a lot more than this because I had some other things I wanted to tell you about but I think you and I will get bored if I write it all as one long post, so for now I'll leave it at this. All I'll say is birthdays and kaftans, lol. Perhaps I spent too long telling you about my digital scales, eh?
Anyway, until next time!
