So something I've wanted to talk about: my tattoo.
I have a tattoo of a key with wings on my...left hip/bum/back area...it's hard to describe. It's covered by my pants but it's higher than my bum. Basically it's on that nice, big, fleshy, womanly bit us lovely women have that give us our hourglass shape. When I got it I thought 'fuck it, I don't care. It's hardly like I'm gonna lose this weight, is it?', which at the time seemed like a reasonable thing to say because, as a lot of you will know, you can diet and 'be good' and 'cut back' and all that shit and you still stay fat. I'd been fat my whole life. It seemed logical.
So anyway, I got it in early June and I started lighterlife in early July - I hadn't had it very long at all.
It. Is. Shrinking. Oh my days, how it is shrinking! It used to be a fair size, its width was (and not being near a ruler I will have to be imaginative) roughly the length of the tip of my index finger to just before the big knuckle. So what, like, three and a bit inches? Just measuring it against my index finger in the mirror now, it now goes to the second knuckle on the finger...so that's about two inches?
That's a lot! It used to fit the space quite nicely and wasn't massive but similarly wasn't dwarfed. Now, on the other other hand, it's a little scrunched up key floating on the expanse of my hip. The key used to have a visible white VW in the middle (yes, it was a Volkswagen tattoo. Yes, I am a GEEK!) but now it's just a black key. Stretched out wings now seem clipped. I have two thoughts about this:
(1) My counsellor says you should give the skin a year to 'snap back'. How can I expect to lose - how many was it? Seven inches? - off my hips and it not be affected?
(2) I could always get it covered. Although it does contain alot of black. To be fair though, at this rate it's going to be tiny and so easily covered - I hope?
Well, it's a small price to pay, eh? It can be remedied. It feels like a big deal but I guess I should think about the bigger picture.
I've asked people on various Lighterlife forums if they've noticed anything similar but their tattoos seem to be unaffected. I guess mine was on a particularly fleshy part (which at the time I thought was super clever because being on my back it wouldn't be affected by pregnancy) and quite new too.
I have big plans for when I lose all of my weight - well, pipe dreams shall we say. In my ideal world, this is how it'd go down: I want to get a tummy tuck, breast lift, bingo wing removal (now that one I haven't researched but I assume it exists. The tops of my arms are extremo saggy.), so hopefully I will have the body my 22 year old self deserves and not this saggy, stretch-mark ridden sack. When that's all healed I want two old skool symmetrical swallows on my front near my hips (fuck pregnancy, I don't want to ruin my new body. I've always felt physically sick when it comes to child birth anyway. It's all about the adoption imo) and a back piece of a Japanese phoenix going from my shoulders down to mid-thigh. Now that sucker should cover my squiffy key! So yeah, how much'll that cost? Ball park figures - Tummy tuck £5,000, boobs £3,500, bingo wings no idea...let's say £3,000, swallows £250, phoenix £1,000 (let's hope it's less, eh?). Sod it, I'm worth it!
Sorry if this has been rambling rubbish. I've listening to the High School Musical 3 soundtrack very loudly in anticipation of seeing the film on Wednesday while writing. I cannot wait. So much for me being a grown up, eh? I tried, I really did. I just love Hello Kitty too much. I can't do it. I'm immature, I'm not independent. I tried, I just don't know what to do. I can't force it. Urgh, the whole situation just irritates me. I don't like to think about it.
Anyway, I'm getting very tired now. Group tomorrow! I will report back. =)
