Sorry for being absent. I have a mock exam on 18 December and then two real exams on the week commencing 19 January. Been hectic with assignments and revision. Seriously, I do not want it to be Christmas. I do not want it to be any time of year. I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep and not get up again until spring.
So many things are pressing down on me at the moment: my mum (she had cancer a few years ago and the doctors have called her in unexpectedly and she is worried), lighterlife, exams, Christmas, money. They talked about support tonight at group and instead of it making me feel confident and happy, it made me realise I don't have any support. Not just for lighterlife though, for everything. All these worries and stresses I have, there is no one I can tell. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that shit, well yeah, I have no share, I have no halved.
Headache. Unhappiness.
Lighterlife isn't a problem though. Y'know, losing weight, abstaining, all good. It's just this talk of Christmas and, of course, I want to stay abstinent. I just think I'm setting myself up for a fall - like always of course. More impossible missions to undertake. Why?? Be vegan, be a lawyer, be abstinent, buy this, buy that, go to China, move out. ARGHHHHHHH. And don't you, Lighterlife, fricking rub it in my face on the fricking 2nd of December that I am going to be torturing myself to the entire festive period and then, to add insult to injury, parade around in front of me telling me I have no support!
And of course, I have to cram my head with my entire Land Law manual before Christmas in order to take my mock exam. =(((
God, I shouldn't blog when I am in a mood!
Anyway, when I'm feeling happier, ask my about The Lovely Dress.
Here's how I'm doing by the way:
Week 1 18st 11lb (start weight)
Week 2 5lb (18st 6lb)
Week 3 3lb (18st 3lb)
Week 4 3lb (18st)
Week 5 3lb (17st 11lb)
Week 6 5lb (17st 6lb)
Week 7 4lb (17st 2lb)
Week 8 5lb (16st 11lb)
Week 9 3lb (16st 8lb)
Week 10 4lb (16st 4lb)
Week 11 3lb (16st 1lb)
Week 12 5lb (15st 10lb)
Week 13 4lb (15st 6lb)
Week 14 2lb (15st 4lb)
Week 15 5lb (14st 13lb)
Week 16 2lb (14st 11lb)
Week 17 2lb (14st 9lb)
Week 18 4lb (14st 5lb)
Week 19 3lb (14st 2lb)
Week 20 4lb (13st 12lb)
Week 21 4lb (13st 8lb)
Week 22 2lb (13st 6lb)
Week 23 4lb (13st 2lb)
Apparently there is going to be a Kill It, Cook It, Eat It Christmas Special. Hurrah. I would like to watch that. I just hope it is on after my exam.
Time to go. Sorry for the mood. I will try and be happier, I promise.
